Scar Tissue
by blueeyedcorpse
Summary: What secrets will be revealed when a car wreck causes Allen's seemingly-perfect world to come crashing down? Rated M for dark themes and attempted suicide. Laven (Lavi x Allen), AU, OOC I apologize ahead of time for any unrealistic events. I don't own anything but my own plot. **SOON TO BE REWRITTEN**
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ohmygod. I'm honestly really nervous about writing this. I'm sorry if this absolutely sucks because I've never written a fanfic before. I've been debating whether to post this for a really long time and I was finally just like "Fuck it, if they hate it, I'll take it down" so... yeah. Weeeelllllllll I guess we'll get this started now :]**

_Allen ran through the cold, dark nothingness, stumbling over his own feet occasionally. "Lavi! Lavi! Where are you?" he yelled, his voice echoing throughout the vast darkness. He ran as fast as he could, still unable to see anything. Allen had no idea why he was suddenly running through this blank space, it was if time had stopped in the dead of night and the light would never come back._

Allen could see the red hair and the tall form of Lavi in the distance. "Lavi!" he yelled again, this time, however, the redhead turned and waved to Allen, as if he wasn't stuck in a big, black, endless box. Lavi opened his mouth as if to say something, but nothing could be heard. "What did you say Lavi?" Allen called, now standing still. Lavi seemed to speak again, but still no words were formed. The redhead strode towards the smaller male, extending his long arms and wrapping them around Allen. "L-Lavi?" Allen stuttered, feeling his cheeks heat up and his chest tighten. Allen looked down at his feet, surprised to see that the nothingness that had been encompassing his senses was now replaced by what seemed to be the carpet of his bedroom.

Lavi grabbed Allen's chin and forced him to look up into his eyes. (**A/N: Yes **_**eyes, **_**keep that in mind, it's quite important.**) _Lavi slowly lowered his lips to Allen's, holding tightly to the younger's hip as he did so. Allen blushed once again and tried to pull away, but Lavi's grip was too strong._

Allen's eyes popped open at the sound of the kitchen timer, signaling that his roommates were up and cooking. Allen sat up in bed, sighing at the thought of kissing Lavi in his recurring dream. "Damnit," he whispered as he pushed the covers off his chest. The cold air seeped into his bare skin slowly, making him shiver and reach for his grey jacket.

The white-haired male's stomach began to growl loudly, covering up the slight creaking noise of the door hinges as a certain rabbit sneaked into his bedroom. Allen had his back turned towards the rest of his room, rummaging around in his closet to find something to wear for the day. Lavi crept up behind Allen slowly, attempting to be as quiet as possible. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" he yelled, wrapping his arms around Allen's neck from behind. Allen jumped and gave a yelp. "Lavi! Was it really necessary to scare me like that?!" he wrestled himself out of the redhead's arms. Said rabbit just gave a goofy grin and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry! I just wanted to surprise you. It is your birthday, after all." Lavi said innocently/ Allen turned to face him, unzipping his jacket and throwing it on his bed, and replacing it with a dark t-shirt. "Did you guys make me breakfast?" Lavi turned away to hide his blush. "Hm? Uh y-yeah." he stuttered. "Good, 'cause I'm starved," Allen grabbed his grey hoodie and slipped it on before walking around Lavi and towards the kitchen.

The redhead sighed, unsettled by his reaction to seeing his best friend shirtless. It wasn't a _normal _reaction, and Lavi was almost positive he wasn't gay. _Almost. _"Lavi? You coming?" Lenalee called from the kitchen that was just down the hall, jarring Lavi out of his thoughts. "Yeah," he called back weakly.

Lavi walked into the medium-sized kitchen to see Allen, Lenalee, and an irritated Kanda seated around the breakfast table in front of the window. "Happy birthday, Allen!" Lenalee said, placing a giant stack of pancakes in front of the white-haired boy. "Thanks Lenalee!" he said through the pancakes he had stuffed in his mouth. "Tch, don't talk with your mouth full, Beansprout, it's disgusting." Kanda said, arms crossed over his chest. His long, dark blue hair was tied up in it's usual ponytail and he was wearing his signature scowl plastered on his face.

**If only they knew how it would all come crashing down around them.**

**A/N: :D I hope you liked it. I know it seems a bit boring at the moment, I'm sorry. I'll be posting as soon as possible, if I get readers :] Thank you for reading this, because, well, obviously you are. Sorry, I make no sense.**

**Well... this is unedited so sorry for any mistakes! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey! I'm soooooo happy that people read this. Like – overly happy. :] So thank you! I love you for reading this. :D **

Allen walked from the kitchen and into his bedroom, Lavi trailing close behind, chattering away about something he read in a book. The redhead grew silent and sat on Allen's queen-sized bed, crossing his legs and wringing his hands in his lap. "Something wrong, Lavi?" Allen asked, worried about his roommate. "Hm? Oh, nope. I'm totally fine!" he gave a grin and Allen decided to drop the subject. Lavi would tell him if something was wrong…right?

Allen pulled out a pair of dark skinny jeans, a loose grey t-shirt, and a pair of black canvas shoes out of his closet, holding them up for Lavi to see. "Does this look alright?" he asked shyly. "Mhm. May I ask what the occasion is? Well – besides it being your birthday…. And Christmas Eve… You get my point." Lavi sighed, looking back down at his lap.

Allen frowned and set his clothes on the bed, walking to Lavi and sitting next to him. "You _sure _nothing's wrong?" Lavi watched Allen's worried expression out of the corner of his eye, but couldn't find his voice to tell him nothing was wrong. The redhead simply nodded and remained silent. "You're a really bad liar," Allen said solemnly. Lavi nodded again, "Where are you going?" he asked. Caught of guard, Allen blushed a little at the question. The pink tint on the white-haired boy's cheeks was barely noticeable, but that didn't stop Lavi from seeing it. "J-just a friend's house…" Allen said quietly. The redhead eyed him skeptically but shrugged and stood. "Alright, I guess I'll let you get dressed then," he said, leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.

***Allen's POV***

I pulled into his driveway and put the car in park. Taking a deep breath, I checked my face in the rear-view mirror and pushed myself out of the car. I walked up the steps to the porch and rang the doorbell, my pulse racing. The door opened and revealed the absolutely stunning Portuguese man that was my boyfriend. (**A/N: I had a hard time writing that XD) **"Hey, Allen," he said coolly, holding the screen door and leaning in to peck me on the lips. "Hey, Tyki," I said with a smile.

***Lavi's POV***

I had followed Allen all the way to his "friend's" house; keeping about two cars back the whole way. I now sat in the driver's seat of my car, hitting my head repeatedly on the steering wheel at the sight of the make-out session going on with Allen and his _"friend" _on the front porch. "Why me?" I asked. Receiving no answer, for obvious reasons, I put the car in drive and sped off towards the house.

**A/N: Sorry this is a lot shorter than the last one . I write the chapters in a notebook before I type them (helps me update faster when I can write wherever I want) So yeah :] I hope you liked it and I really appreciate reviews, favorites and follows :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm so glad people are reading this; it makes me super duper happy. **

Lenalee sat in the living room, watching the afternoon news on the T.V. while she ate her lunch. _"There has been a serious wreck near 7__th__ street, downtown. The car was totaled and the driver is now in the hospital, no further reports on his condition are known to us at the moment. Traffic is expected to be backed up in that area for the next hour…" _the news lady spoke in a monotone, and sat behind a large desk, looking rather bored. Lenalee frowned at the news, but got up to put her plate away. There was a quick, urgent knock at the front door and she called: "coming!" before swiftly placing the plate in the sink and running to the door. She opened it to see a solemn-looking police officer standing behind it. "Hello, miss. Is this the residence of Lavi Bookman?" he asked "Uh…yes. Is there a problem?" she asked hesitantly. "Yes, miss. He's been in a serious car accident and is injured at the hospital. He's at the Black Order General Hospital, downtown."

***Lenalee's POV***

Shock. That's all I felt when he said "injured". _No, no, no, no. Not Lavi, please not Lavi. _"Th-thank you." I said shakily, closing the door on the officer. "Who the fuck was that?" Kanda said, obviously irritated. "W-we need to get to the h-hospital, Lavi g-got in a w-wreck," I stuttered, finally breaking down and sliding to the floor, crying. Kanda rushed forward and held me while I cried. "C-call Allen," I sobbed into his chest. He nodded and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

***Allen's**** POV***

Tyki and I were cuddled rather comfortably on his couch, watching a movie, when we were rudely interrupted by my cell phone. _It's Kanda, ew._ I rolled my eyes and answered. "This had better be good, _Yuu_." I said, drawing out his given name just to piss him off. I left the living room and walked into the kitchen, much to Tyki's disappointment. "Lavi got in a car wreck. Get to the Black Order Hospital in ten." He saud, then hung up. The phone slipped out of my hand and hit the tile floor with a _clack!_

_Lavi? Is he okay? _ I felt a tear slip down my cheek and I collapsed to the floor, sobbing.

"Allen?!"

**A/N: I'M SORRY! Don't kill me, please. I'm sorry it was so short :L excuse the cliffhanger, also.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'M SO SORRY. I haven't updated in a really long time. I know I promised a reviewer that I would update the next day and it's been like a week! I'm sooooooorrrrryyyyyyy. Please don't hurt me. I love you. :] I haven't updated because I lost all my motivation because I was feeling really depressed and I relapsed back into self-harm and I know none of you guys want to hear about my worthless babbling (you can PM me if you are curious, I don't mind). On to the story ^.^**

Allen, Lenalee, and Kanda rushed into the reception area of the Black Order general hospital. Kanda sat in one of the many chairs lining the walls, while the other two raced to the desk. "Lavi Bookman, which room is he in?" Allen asked harshly. The receptionist eyed him warily before asking, "What's your relation to him?" Allen scoffed and ran his hands through his hair, tugging on it. "Does it matter?" he muttered darkly. "W-we're his roommates. I was told he was in a car accident." Lenalee said calmly, putting a hand on Allen's shoulder. The receptionist nodded and typed Lavi's name into the computer. "He's in surgery right now and he won't be out for a while." She tapped her finger impatiently on the desk. "How long is a while?" Allen said. "About 6 hours, depending how it goes. I'm sorry but you'll have to wait or go home. I can notify you when he gets out of surgery. Allen was scared to death for Lavi and he began to slowly unravel at the seams, hating himself for not doing anything, for not being _able _to do anything. Lenalee thanked the receptionist and led Allen back to where Kanda was sitting before returning to the desk and whispering about Lavi's condition so that the distraught Allen was unable to hear them.

"Kanda," Lenalee said quietly, beckoning for him to follow her.

They walked away far enough so that the sobbing Allen couldn't hear them. "Uh… Lavi… well… His legs were crushed and a rib punctured his right lung and he lost his eye and he got a really bad concuss-" Lenalee was talking so fast she could barely breathe and she began sobbing when Kanda pulled her into his chest and kissed her forehead before wordlessly walking back to the waiting area and sitting back down near the sobbing Allen.

**_*6 hours later*_**

"Miss?" the receptionist said, shaking the sleeping Lenalee awake. "Your friend is out of surgery. The doctors had to put him in a coma. I'm very sorry. You may see him in room 715," the receptionist gave an apologetic smile and retreated back to her desk.

Lenalee shook Kanda and Allen awake, relaying the information the receptionist had given her. Allen began crying once more and Lenalee wrapped her arms around him, leading him through the double doors and down the long, whitewashed corridor to Lavi's room.

Once they reached Lavi's room, a dark-haired nurse walked swiftly out of the room, nearly running into the trio. "Uh… ma'am, what's his condition?" Lenalee asked tentatively, motioning towards Lavi's room. "I'm guessing you're his roommates. Well, he's stable for now, but the doctor had to induce a coma due to possible brain damage from the concussion. His legs were crushed, but they'll heal with time and we're sure he'll be able to walk again. They've also repaired his lung and rib, but they couldn't save his eye. I'm sorry," she said with a small smile, then walked away hurriedly.

Lenalee felt Allen take a deep breath before releasing her arm and walking quickly into the small room, as if walking any slower would cause Lavi to die before he got there. Lenalee soon followed, dragging Kanda with her.

***Allen's POV***

I pushed aside the cream-colored curtains, and gasped at what I saw. There were wires connected to his heavily bandaged chest, an IV and what looked like ten more wires placed around his entire wrist. There was gauze wrapped around his forehead and covering his right eye. Casts covered each of his long legs, along with a tube shoved down his throat and taped crudely in place.

"Oh, Lavi," Lenalee sobbed, turning and pressing herself into Kanda's chest. He seemed surprised at first, but simply placed his hands – somewhat – comfortingly around her waist. I moved to sit in a chair on Lavi's left side. His bright red hair that somehow seemed duller than it had ever been fell over the gauze and covered his good eye. I leaned forward and swept it up out of his face, my fingers connecting with his cold, pale skin. _It's all my fault. I knew he was following me. Why didn't I just tell him where I was going? _"It's not your fault, Allen," Lenalee said. I flinched, not realizing I had voiced my thoughts. She put a delicate hand on my shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. I didn't gain any comfort from the gesture, I was just plain numb.

**_*about 3 hours later*_**

Lenalee sat, curled up and sleeping, in Kanda's lap. "It's time to go, visiting hours are almost over, Beansprout." He said quietly. Allen sighed, still staring at Lavi's pale and ultimately lifeless face. "I… I'll meet you in the parking lot." Allen replied, wanting just a moment to get something off his chest. Once Kanda had gone, carrying the still-sleeping Lenalee. Allen held Lavi's left hand, one of the only parts of his body _not _covered in wires and gauze. The whitewashed room was silent despite the beeping machines and rhythmical dripping of the IV. "Lavi," Allen breathed, "I want you to know that I love you. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not telling you where I was going. I'm sorry for kissing Tyki in front of you, just to make you jealous. I love you, more than just best friends, more than brothers. This is my fault, and I wish I was the one lying here, not you. I'm s-so sorry…" Allen began to sob, squeezing the redhead's limp hand. He let go and cried into his hands, choking out apologies as he pulled his legs up and curled into himself.

Allen's tears dried, leaving stains on his cheeks. He felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket, signaling a text. He stood from the bedside chair and fished it out of his pocket. The screen read: _5 new text messages _and _2 missed calls._ He unlocked the device to find that all the attempts to contact him had been made by Kanda, who was probably waiting angrily in the car for him. Allen smiled weakly.

**A/N: I really hope you enjoyed! I also hope this made up for the last chapters, since they were so short. I encourage you to leave reviews if you enjoyed, and leave constructive criticism if you didn't :D They're always appreciated and I love hearing back from readers. I always reply. Thanks again for reading! 3 **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry sorry sorry. I know it's been a really long time since I updated and I hope this extra-long chapter will make up for it. I broke my right index finger so it's been really hard to type and even harder to write in my notebook. Well… it's also because I procrastinate waaaaay too much. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and please leave a review 3 :D**

"Not tonight, Tyki." Allen said, batting away his boyfriend's wandering hands. "Why not?" he whined, pushing his bottom lip into a pout. "Because. I'm really not in the best mood. Seeing the guy I'm in l-m-my best friend lying in a hospital bed, half dead doesn't exactly make me want to fuck." Allen said sharply. "You _love _him?!" Tyki said, standing from the couch and staring at Allen angrily.

"Tyki, that's not what I said."

"Well it sure as hell sounded like you were going to!"

"I wasn't! Now will you just sit down and stop getting so worked up?"

"I think you're a liar and I think you should leave."

"What?!"

"You heard me. Please leave."

Allen's lip quivered. "Fine," he said defiantly, hating how his voice shook. Tyki turned and stormed out of the room and into the bathroom.

Tears burned at the back of his throat as Allen gathered his clothes and stuffed them in his backpack. He glanced back at the bedroom, searching for anything he may have missed.

He let the tears fall as he walked out, hearing the shower running behind him. Allen reached the front door and called: "Bye, Tyki," weakly.

Allen unlocked the front door of the apartment and swung it open to find Lenalee and Kanda making out in the recliner facing the TV. Lenalee had her hands tangles in Kanda's hair, while his were hidden beneath her shirt. She looked up momentarily and caught the stunned Allen standing in the foyer. "A-Allen!" she said, breaking away from Kanda and jumping off his lap. "I-I thought you were, uh, spending the night with a friend…" she stuttered. "He had an, uh, family emergency." Allen hated lying, but there was no way his roommates could know he was gay. Kanda would harass him till the end of time. Shaking his head, Allen walked to his room, backpack slung over his right shoulder. "Carry on."

**_About 3 weeks later_**

Allen rolled onto his back, dreading the day ahead of him, as always. _I'd love to trade spots with Lavi. I'd never have to deal with waking up in the morning ever again. _He thought, staring blankly at the ceiling of his messy bedroom. The white-haired boy had always been something of a neat freak, but ever since the accident and the mess with Tyki, he had slowly lost himself and drowned in a sea of hopelessness, and his room began to resemble his state of mind.

Dragging himself out of bed, Allen stepped carelessly on books, blankets that had fallen from his bed, dirty clothes, and papers, without a second thought.

He made his way to the white dresser placed next to his bedroom door. The drawers on the left side were open, clothes hanging lazily out of them; in the dark, they resembled the tendrils of depression that were slowly claiming Allen's mind.

He flipped the light switch on and began rummaging through the top drawer. Allen grabbed a t-shirt and a pair of jeans that he may or may not have been wearing for the past two weeks and tossed them on his bed. The days had begun to blur together and he didn't really care.

Slipping the t-shirt on over his bare chest and torso, he looked down—only to notice it was the one Lavi had given him for his birthday. Tears stung the back of his throat. _Fuck. _He thought, collapsing to the floor and sobbing uncontrollably. He swore.

Allen sank numbly into his bed. The tears had long stopped and he just stared at the ceiling. His eyes slowly growing dull as he was drawn into a sort of emotional comatose.

**_A couple hours later _**

Lenalee—who had also fallen into a depressed state—had gone to see her therapist, Kanda had driven her, and Allen was home alone.

All week, the white-haired boy had been drawn to the clear, orange-tinted bottle on the counter. Filled with diamond-shaped pale blue pills, it had looked tempting, just waiting to be swallowed. _Today is the day. _Allen thought to himself, grabbing the orange juice from the fridge and pouring it into a glass.

He replaced the carton and stared greedily at the pill bottle. Allen reached for it, ready to escape to a paradise—a wonderland. He held down the tab and unscrewed the white top. Shaking two pills into his slightly trembling hand, he read the label. "_Lamotrigine 200 milligrams. Take one half tablet by mouth daily." _Allen took a deep breath before opening his mouth and placing one tablet on the back of his tongue. He took a swig of orange juice and down it went. There was no going back now, he thought, so he repeated the process with the second pill.

He screwed the top back and replaced the bottle carefully, ensuring that no one would see that it had been moved. He drank the rest of the orange juice and placed the glass in the sink.

**_About 30 minutes later _**

The pills had begun to set in and Allen decided to watch a movie.

About fifteen minutes in, the main character started cracking immature sex jokes. Normally, Allen would've cringed and left the room or turned it off, but in his current state he simply could not control his laughter.

For once in a very long time, Allen felt pleasantly numb, almost happy. Everything seemed funny, hilarious even. There was a sort of pleasant drunkenness to it.

He abruptly stood up and raced to the kitchen about halfway through the movie. He made instant macaroni and cheese, then pulled a soda from the fridge.

Eventually, the numbness subsided and his head was pounding. Lenalee couldn't stop chattering when she got home, and it only made it worse.

Allen began feeling guilty. The high he had experienced was just one of many he would induce to get away from the pain of life.

**A/N: Okay, so here's my speech for the day: DO NOT TAKE DRUGS THAT AREN'T PRESCRIBED TO YOU. It's a bad idea. And, I wrote Allen's experience based on my own when I took the same antidepressant (it was my mother's). I only did it once and I felt so very guilty afterward. So please, if you're ever thinking about it, message me. I'll put a link to my Tumblr and you can always message me there. Thanks for reading and please leave a review 3**

**Tumblr: **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello! :D So, when I wrote this in my notebook, I originally planned for it to be six pages long, but it ended up taking 10, so yay for me, because I've been trying to write more 3 I'm really proud of myself XD **

"Allen…" Lenalee said through the bathroom door. "You've been in the shower forever. Kanda has to take one too, you know." she knocked again. "I hope you waste all the hot water, Kanda will wring your neck." The Chinese said, more to herself than Allen. She knocked once more. _He probably fell asleep. _Lenalee giggled at the thought. "Is that fucking Beansprout out yet?" Kanda said, coming up behind her and placing his hands around her small waist while resting his chin on her shoulder. "No. He probably fell asleep."

"Whatever." He turned and walked toward the kitchen.

Lenalee knocked again. "C'mon Allen. I'm coming in." She turned the knob and pushed the door open. "Allen?" she said, peeking around the door.

Blood. There was blood dripping onto the cold tile floor from a pale wrist that was hanging out of the tub. There was an empty pill bottle on the floor, a few diamond-shaped pills scattered around it, soaked with blood. _Her _pills.

"ALLEN!" she screamed, running forward and squeezing his still-bleeding wrist to try and stem the flow. "KANDA! HELP ME!" she screamed again, tears dripping down her face. The Japanese came running in, and stood, stunned in the doorway. "Help me pull him out!" she sobbed, collapsing to her knees in the pool of bloody water. "Move. I'll pull him out and you call an ambulance." Kanda ordered. Lenalee nodded numbly and stood, her bare feet nearly slipping out from under her on the slick tile.

Allen had cut three gaping wounds on each of his wrists and swallowed almost the whole bottle of pills. Pills that she had left on the counter. Pills that she hadn't realized were gone. _It's al my fault. _Lenalee thought, dialing the emergency services number with shaking fingers. "Hello. What's your emergency?" the woman on the other end said calmly. "My roommate just tried to kill himself. He took around 10 200 milligrams tablets of Lamotrigine and slit his wrists. He's 18, no history of drug use and he isn't allergic to anything. No family, either." Lenalee said with urgency, also stating their address. "We'll send help right away. Keep pressure on the wounds and stay calm. An ambulance will arrive in about 10 minutes."

**_A while later_**

Lenalee sobbed into Kanda's chest. "I-it's a-all my fault!" she stuttered. "No it's not. It isn't your fault at all." Kanda said. Lenalee broke away from him as her cell phone rang. She dug it out of her purse, hands shaking.

"Hello?" she asked, her voice shaking. "Yes, hello. Is Lenalee Lee there?"

"This is she."

"Ah, hello. I've called to inform you that your roommate is out of his coma. He's stable and has asked to see you."

"Thank you! We'll be over right away!" she said breathlessly, tapping the 'end call' button. A smile found away to her lips, despite the fact that she was standing next to her _other _near-dead roommate.

They rushed out of Allen's room and made their way out of the ward towards Lavi's.

"Where's Lenalee?" they heard, a groggy voice say inside Lavi's room. "And Allen, and Kanda?" Kanda scoffed. "He's still an idiot." He said under his breath. Lenalee elbowed him in the ribs before walking into Lavi's room.

"Lena!" Lavi yelled childishly, a bright smile on his face. "Hey Lavi! I'm glad you're finally awake! I missed you." _What an understatement. _She thought as she bent down to hug him and kiss his cheek, mindful of his most likely still-tender ribs. "Do you remember anything?" Lenalee asked, sitting in a chair next to the bed. "Not really. I remember following Allen to someone's house, and being really jealous for some reason. I don't know why. But that's it." Lavi's smile stayed in place, though his uncovered eye stared down at his blanket, where his hand was fiddling with a loose thread. Lenalee smiled back. "So, um… where's Allen?" he asked, his smile fading a bit more. Lenalee's blood seemed to freeze in her veins and she went white as a sheet. Eyes wide and palms sweating, she spoke almost in a whisper: "Allen… he… must've been really depressed. I guess he felt like it was his fault you were hurt and I think he may have broken up with a girlfriend or something. But… today he, um… took my antidepressants and tried to kill himself." She squeezed her eyes closed and clenched her fists, the last part coming out like one word.

Lavi stared at her blankly. "I want to see him." The redhead started to swing his now-healed legs over the side of the bed. "No." Kanda said, stepping forward. "Kanda… just let him go." Lenalee said, giving him a pleading look. "Tch." He scoffed, turning to leave. "Come on Lavi. Can you stand alright?" she said, grabbing his hand. "Mhm." He hummed, giving her a reassuring smile. He stood, wobbling slightly, and wrapped an arm around her shoulder for support.

Once they had made their way through the halls and stood outside Allen's room, Lenalee asked: "Are you sure?" Lavi merely nodded, a determined look crossing his features. He let go of Lenalee and walked—unsteadily—into Allen's room.

Allen was pale. He had bandages wrapped from right below his hand to a little above his elbow, and Lavi could see the scarlet-red of his blood slowly leaking through. "Allen." Lavi breathed, rushing towards his bedside as fast as his still-painful legs would take him.

Allen was still asleep, so Lavi took one of his small hands in his own. Gently, the redhead turned his hand palm-up and stared at the blood coming from his wrist. Bringing the hand to his lips, Lavi pressed a kiss into Allen's palm and closed it. "Allen… I love you so much. Why would you do this to yourself? I love you and I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." Tears slipped from his eyes. "Lavi…" a soft voice whispered. The redhead's head snapped up, a single green eye staring into grey ones. "Allen I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"It is."

Allen shook his head and smiled. He took Lavi's hand and brought it to his lips, much like the redhead had done earlier. "I love you Lavi." He whispered, and pressed his lips to Lavi's knuckles. Allen smiled again. "I-I love you too." Lavi stuttered, smiling again.

**_About 2 weeks later_**

"Hey, Allen…" Lavi said, rolling over on his side to face the younger, who was lying next to him. "Mhm?" Allen hummed, turning his head and staring into Lavi's eye patch-less eye. "I…I think I'm going to move out soon. And I was wondering if… if you would want to come with me…?" Lavi trailed off, looking away. Allen smiled and pulled himself towards the redhead. He pressed a quick kiss to the older's mouth. "Yes. Of course I will." Lavi smiled and pulled into his chest, kissing the top of his head, "I love you Allen."

"I love you too Lavi." Allen's voice was muffled by Lavi's chest.

There was a knock at the door and the two quickly broke apart. "Allen! Wake up and get dressed. You have to eat your breakfast and get to counseling. And don't forget to take your pills!" Lenalee said, "Oh! And if Lavi's in there he needs to come take his pain meds too." She added, knocking once more. "Okay, Lena! I'll be out in a sec." Allen called, blushing slightly at almost being caught.

Lavi sat up and stretched his long arms upwards. He winced at the sudden pain in his ribs. Even after a couple weeks of rehab and pills, he still felt sore every morning. "You okay?" Allen asked from the closet. "Mhm." Lavi said with a smile. "But the question is, are _you _okay, Allen?" the latter had been rummaging around in the closet, humming to himself, but now he stood frozen, a shirt Lavi had given him hanging from his fingers. "Ah—Allen, I'm sorry. Don't listen to me, I didn't mean to say that out loud." Lavi got up from the bed and limped over to Allen.

"I'm not okay." Allen breathed. "Allen…" Lavi said, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy from behind. The redhead tightened his grip as he felt Allen flinch and begin to shake. Lavi spun Allen around in his arms so they faced each other. A single green eye stared into two steel-grey ones. "It's okay to not be okay, Allen. You can talk to me about anything." Lavi said, wiping a tear from Allen's cheek with his thumb. Allen nodded. Suddenly, he rushed forward and buried himself in the taller boy's chest. "I'm so sorry. I'm s-so, so, s-sorry." He sobbed. "Don't be sorry, Allen. It's all right. No one is angry with you." Lavi said soothingly, stroking Allen's hair and leading him back to the bed.

Allen fell asleep in Lavi's arms, tears drying on his cheeks. Lavi smiled sadly.

_I'm sorry, Allen._

**A/N: I'm s- whoops. I realized that I apologize way too much and I make the characters apologize a lot too. Well, as always, I hope you enjoyed and I encourage you to leave a review :] I apologize if anything is unrealistic.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I'M SO SORRY. It's been a realllllly long time since I've updated and I'm sorry. I've been trying to finish it in my notebook, but I just can't XD BUTBUTBUT I got to 125 pages :D Chapter 12 (the last chapter) will be written and done very soon (I hope). I'm dreading having to type them up. *****Sigh* I guess I'll get on with it. I hope you enjoy 3 Okay one more thing. I'm not entirely sure but, I've always imagined Allen as being a lefty so I'm sorry if he isn't I tried to look it up I promise.**

"Lenalee. Hey, I've…uh…got something to tell you." Lavi said, leaning of the doorframe and watching Lenalee cook breakfast. "Can it wait? I'm a little busy." She said, not looking up from the sizzling pans on the stove. "Yeah…sure." Lavi said, shaking his head slightly and returning to Allen's room.

"You _forgot. _You really think I believe that?" Allen said, raising an eyebrow at Lavi, who was sitting Indian-style on the bed in front of him. "No." he sighed. "She said she was busy, anyway. I'll tell her after breakfast." Allen rolled his eyes. "You're such a procrastinator."

"Oh and you aren't?" Lavi said with a disbelieving laugh.

"This isn't about _me._" Allen retorted.

"Hypocrite." The redhead smirked and leaned forward, placing his hands lightly on Allen's thighs and capturing his lips. Allen's eyes fluttered closed as Lavi's hands drifted from his thighs all the way up to his waist, where they disappeared under his loose T-shirt.

The redhead's tongue darted out of his mouth, pushing against Allen's lips and begging for entrance. Allen gasped, finally allowing Lavi's tongue to slip in.

They battled for dominance, tongues slipping and tangling with one another until Lavi finally won. He ran tongue over the roof of Allen's mouth, eliciting a sigh from the younger-who had one hand tangled in Lavi's fiery red hair, the other gripping the hem of his shirt tightly.

Lavi pulled back, breathing heavily. He stared at Allen's flushed face. His grey eyes, standing out even more against the blush on his cheeks, his swollen lips, and his slightly disheveled snow-white hair gave him a look of vulnerable innocence.

Shirts were discarded in a matter of seconds. Allen was pushed onto his back, staring up at Lavi. The redhead held himself up by a hand place near Allen's bare shoulder, one leg resting in between the younger's. The other hand was busy caressing the younger's abdomen and chest. "I love you, Allen." He breathed, squeezing the hip of the boy beneath him affectionately. "I love you too, Lavi." Allen said with a slightly tired smile. His hands floated upwards and wrapped themselves around Lavi's neck, pulling him down for another heated kiss. "Allen…" Lavi groaned as a small hand tugged on the waistband of his jeans.

The redhead complied, standing up momentarily to slip his jeans off and expose his black boxer briefs before throwing them somewhere in the room. He collapsed back between Allen's legs.

Catching Lavi off guard, Allen pushed them both over so that he was on top and pinning Lavi with his body. He smirked, tugging off the basketball shorts that he had borrowed from Lavi to sleep in. Allen smirked and licked his lips. A single green eye stared into two grey ones as Allen tangled his hands in Lavi's fiery red hair.

Allen began to bite and kiss at Lavi's collarbone gently. "Hey Lavi?" Allen murmured between love bites. "Mmmmm?" Lavi hummed in response, too high on the feeling of Allen's skin on his to say much else.

"I-" the white-haired boy was never able to finish, as someone came through the door with way too much force. "Allen! Come take your pills and eat your breakfast!" Lenalee said, dumping clean laundry on his dresser, not noticing her two half-naked roommates.

"Allen?" she said, finally turning toward the bed—and nearly shrieking at what she saw. "L-Lavi? A-Allen?" she dropped the remaining laundry on the floor in surprise. "W-well… I guess I'll leave you t-two alone then…" she said, numbly retrieving the fallen clothes and walking hurriedly out of the bedroom.

Allen stared blankly at the doors for a moment before he burst into laughter, doubling over onto Lavi's chest.

"Oh my god." Lavi groaned in embarrassment, Still laughing, Allen rolled off of the redhead and onto the bed beside him. "Well that was fun while it lasted." The redhead said, grabbing Allen's slim right hand and playing with his long pianist's fingers. "Mmmmm." Allen hummed closing his eyes and reveling in the way his skin tingled when Lavi touched him.

Allen drifted off to sleep again, while Lavi just became more and more restless with every second. He sat up, still caressing Allen's right hand with is own. The redhead hummed quietly and glanced around the room nervously. Folding his legs so he was sitting Indian-style, Lavi stared down at the pale hand that was now in his lip.

He turned it so it was palm-up. A single green eye scanned it, searching for any sort of mark, when he came across the fresh cuts covering the inside of Allen's forearm.

Some were just thin, pink ribbons crisscrossing his skin—others were more deeper, and looked like they would take a century to heal. Then there were the barely-visible scars that the ordinary person probably wouldn't have seen. Lavi's trained eye caught the way they glinted slightly in the light of the bedroom.

But then there was the one long, vertical cut with the stitches still intact. The one Allen had made to end his life. Tears stung the back of Lavi's eyes as he remembered the day he woke up.

He heard a gasp from somewhere beside him and the younger's hand was suddenly yanked away from Lavi. "Don't you dare tell anyone." Allen said coldly, cradling his right arm to his chest protectively. "And I don't _need _your sympathies. Or you help, I'm perfectly _fine._" Allen shook slightly and Lavi could tell he was struggling to hold back the tears.

His grey eyes were cast downward and he was curling into himself, trying to get as small as possible. "Allen… just tell me when you started." Lavi said kindly, crawling a little closer to Allen and sitting on his knees. Allen paused. "I-it was right after Mana died… I think." He said, still not meeting Lavi's eye. _How did I not notice? _The redhead scolded himself, looking down at his clenched hands momentarily. "Let's get dressed Allen." Lavi said, sighing. Allen nodded and turned away, hopping off the bed. Lavi looked down at his hands again, thinking of all the things he'd done wrong in the past months.

"Lavi… can I tell you something?"

"Sure. Anything, Allen."

"I… I was raped."

**A/N: Whoops it's a cliffhanger. I'm just gonna say now that I'm not very proud of this chapter, or the entire fic for that matter. I think it gets better after this chapter, but once I finish it, I'm definitely rewriting it. Thanks for reading and please leave a review. **


	8. Chapter 8

Hey guys. I'm so, _so_ very sorry that I've been gone for so long, I really don't know what happened. I can't really say that I've been busy because I haven't. At all. But I have some news. I have started a new fanfiction and I may or may not be posting it. Also, I will be re-writing this one. Scar Tissue really isn't my best writing because it's the first fanfiction I ever wrote. I'm not proud of how it came out. There are a lot of plot holes and crappy writing on my part. So sooner or later it will be rewritten and better than ever (hopefully). Thanks for sticking with me all this time and I hope to be able to write better for you all in the future. Again, thank you so much for all the support and encouragement you've given me over the months. I hope to be writing for you guys again soon.


	9. Chapter 9

Hello again! Sorry I don't have an update for you all yet, I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do with this fic. I was wondering what you guys think about me just deleting this fic and starting over from scratch? I'm thinking about this because there are some major plot points that I really just don't care for anymore. It just feels _too _angsty and it's really been bothering me. I would really like to hear what you all think about this. I could either take out 2 major plot points or I could delete the fic and start again. Or I may just delete this fic all together because it really just isn't my best work and I'm not happy with it at all.

Please review and tell me how you feel about it. It really is your decision. Making you all happy will make me happy. But for now, I'll wait to hear what you say and I may or may not post a new (hopefully less angsty) fic in the meantime.

I hope to hear from you all very soon. Thanks for reading!


End file.
